Comment: It is Imperative That We Learn How to Have an Adult Conversation About Sex, Gender and Appropriate Behaviour Without it Blowing Into a Political and Cultural Shouting Match

Amid the recent cultural shift of men in power paying the price for their unforgivable and disgraceful acts in a wide array of different sectors, most notably Hollywood, it’s important to regroup and figure out where we are now.

It is abundantly clear that men and women do not know how to work effectively alongside each other appropriately or even communicate properly. This could be down to us not knowing the rules in which to conduct ourselves.
Yes, many media corporations have altered their workplace rules in accordance with the #Metoo movement however, the lines of what is ‘acceptable’ behaviour between men and women is still a hazy topic. So, it is imperative that we learn how to have an adult conversation about sex, gender and appropriate behaviour without it blowing up into a political or cultural shouting match.
But first, let’s figure out where we are at the moment. The smorgasbord of sexual allegations that have blown up in the past year has had a positive impact on teaching the disgusting men and some women that rape, touching someone in the privates and exposing themselves without consent is not appropriate behaviour, although you’d think these people would’ve known that already.
I’m all for the Me-too movement however, I’m not a fan of the far left failing to distinguish between the degrees of bad behaviour. We are in danger of putting rape in the same category as a shoulder rub, these are both inappropriate behaviours that should be stopped but let’s not pretend that we wouldn’t be able to choose which we would rather.
Why can’t we all agree that sexual abuse and inappropriate behaviour is not ok but also say that one is worse? Are we not capable of having two conversations at once? Even whilst the Me-too movement is still in full swing, we still do not know how to have a rational conversation about men and women. So, let’s start drawing some lines in the sand.
In a recent interview, Jordan Peterson, a recently trendy to watch Clinical Psychologist posed the question, “Is it ok for women to wear makeup in the workplace?” Yes, I realise you’re probably shocked that he’d even pose such a ridiculous question. He makes the point that women wear makeup to sexualise themselves.
Peterson asks, “Why do you make your lips red? Because they turn red during sexual arousal…Why do you put rouge on your cheeks? Same reason.” He goes on to say he thinks women should have the freedom to wear makeup in the workplace but that you’re naive if you think it doesn’t have anything to do with sexuality. He fails to take it account, however all the other possible reasons for women to wear makeup.
Also, Jordan Peterson states that makeup contributes to sexual harassment in the workplace. I would agree but I don’t believe that just because a woman is wearing makeup in the workplace, this shows a certain ‘complicitness’ with being sexually harassed. So, that’s one line drawn. Women should be able to wear makeup in the workplace.
Is a workplace relationship acceptable or is flirting in the workplace appropriate?
Now this is a tricky one as flirting is extremely subjective so picking and choosing what is acceptable flirting is difficult. Flirting should be allowed in the workplace however, you have to know what it is you’re doing, know that it could be messy and to be careful.
What surprised me the most however is that men are struggling to tell if offering to buy a woman a drink is inappropriate. A recent YouGov poll showed that when it came to asking a woman out for a drink, about one in four young males and about 12.5% of young females said it would “always” or “usually” be a form of sexual harassment. What? Have we now gotten to the stage where a man cannot flirt with a woman or vice versa for fear of allegations and trial by public opinion?
Columnist for the New York Times, Bari Weiss states that “Well if that’s (buying a woman a drink) sexual harassment then touching someone’s arm is sexual assault and an unsolicited kiss is rape, we’ve lost. It’s over.”
Of course, it should be ok for a man to buy a woman a drink and vice versa just don’t slip something in the drink. Complimenting a woman is fine, just don’t follow her home screaming it. Hugging someone is fine, just don’t touch their butt. This should all be self-evident but unfortunately, on one side, we have the sexual deviants who expose themselves and grab other people in the privates but on the other side, we have ‘liberals’ failing to differentiate between the degrees of bad behaviour and failing to know when someone is flirting and when someone is being offensive.
In this article, I’ve discussed very few different encounters and rules for communication between men and women and this should be an indicator of just how difficult and complicated this conversation can get.
Bari Weiss goes on to say, “the conversation between our sexual culture is about consent and pain, what ever happened to intimacy and love and romance? Wouldn’t it be amazing that was our conversation?”
This speaks volumes as we are entering a world now in which we, as humans barely make physical contact anymore and we need this to feel happy and be mindful. However, if the far left keep having this influence we may enter into a police state and become heartless, tragic beings of solitude.