Struggle Now, Stronger Later - Issue 30 - 9th October 2022

The struggle is hard. Therefore, it’s not only stopping yourself from eating too much, watching too much or smoking too much. You could become better by doing better. You could sit up and read a page of a book instead of lying in bed all day. You can embrace struggle in this way by voluntarily strugglingand working. However, there’s more weight to be added to your burden. Weight in which you have no choice but to either pick it up and continue striding forwards, or allow it to topple you. Weights in which you can only control your reaction to it rather than instigating it. Grief is a prime example. You cannot control the catastrophes that knocks you off of your feet. All you can do is react with heroism, get back up and carry the burden.

Meaning is saved for those who struggle for it, the light is shone on those who run through the dark

My brother died at twenty one when I was eighteen. The sound of terror in my father’s voice, the hysterics my mother was engulfed in and my leg’s inability to support my body all contributed to the horror of two parents losing and outliving a child and a brother losing his hero. The world appears one way and then in the space of a second, completely alters it’s appearance. Night had broken and darkness had completely erased the road ahead and all the world appeared to be was black. The world was peachy but then that world was rotten. In these situations, we walk on the pitch black road with those we love. Our reaction to the darkness can either be accepting our fate, accepting that we cannot continue forward towards what we cannot see and lying down waiting for the light to come back, which it never will unless you continue onward, or we can change our fate and continue walking, helping those we love continue onward and eventually see the light again. If you choose the former, you will either force those around you to carry your weight of suffering alongside theirs, force them to accept the darkness as well and give up or force those you love to lose someone else in you. If you choose thelatter, you make the situation at the very least bearable, you valiantly help those who cannot help themselves, you provide an example of what voluntarily accepting struggle appears to be, you bring yourself and those you love closer to the light. This way, when nighttime inevitably breaks again and catastrophe strikes, you know what to do, you won’t be as overwhelmed and you’ll help those you love more effectively. The light comes to those who struggle towards it. Darkness engulfs those who let it do so. Denial of death comes when the night is at its darkest. Acceptance comes when the sun first appears. Death is inevitable so you better struggle now so that you are strong enough when it comes knocking at your door.

Further, the struggle of other people must be accepted where possible. No one perceives the world the way you do, so why would they do the same as you? Don’t expect anyone to do as you do. Toxic relationships involve at least one person expecting the other to do what they want. They pull you into their orbit. Throughout my time in relationships, I allowed partners to accept their limitations as my own, feel guilty for my own vulnerabilities and struggle to find meaning without voluntary struggle. Fortunately, I strived forward through the night and found dawn, in the form of love. We either accept our partner’s limitations and allow them to limit ourselves by stopping in thenight, or we venture onward through the night alone until we find a partner who’s willing to walk the night too.
Once you have a few nights of struggle under your belt, you’ll be better equipped to help others who have given up along the way. Some people find that the night is too much, they don’t have the right running shoes, they sit on the road alone, they are restricted. Once you’re strong enough, take them on your back too. Just like a recovered drug addict helps those still struggling, you can help those embrace struggle to bring the world closer to heaven and farther from hell.
Some have a head start and some start miles behind, these are the facts of our hierarchical society, therefore some have the capacity to run through the night without any effort or struggle on their part and some can barely move past thestarting line.

Embracing the dark leads to thelight

However, a small minority who start at the back of herd find a way to get moving, especially when the night is at its darkest. They scheme and they plan as the darkness falls and they sprint through the abyss and come out of thelight shining brighter than everyone else. Meaning isn’t equal. It isn’t rationed evenly among everyone. Meaning is saved for those who struggle for it, thelight is shone on those who run through the darkness. Meaning is a reaction, therefore meaning reacts to actions. Just as always choosing the easiest and most comfortable option will lead to a difficult life, so too choosing thedifficult, unpredictable and ‘struggle-some’ option will lead to meaning and fulfilment. Embracing the dark leads to the light.
Moreover, as we begin the journey of struggle towards meaning, we must accept our limitations and vulnerabilities if we are to ever move forward. Without them we would have nothing to do. Without an issue there would be nothing to solve. Being self-aware or self-conscious is one thing, but being self-conscious and moving forward in spite of whatever it is that your self-conscious about is unbearably possible. Accepting that you could fail because you’re vulnerable is the first step on the route to meaning. Then those steps must be repeated constantly. As long as you’re struggling, you will have limitations that must be accepted continually. You must continually acknowledge your limitations and vulnerabilities then sacrifice and struggleonward. Being aware of our limitations is burdensome. No one would blame you for accepting them and forgetting about them. Being aware of our limitations and struggling forward anyway and attempting to rectify them, running through the dark when others would stop provides a path few have tread. The struggle for meaning.

Keep On Struggling

Gregor

Podcast Episode I Enjoyed - Understanding & Using Dreams To Learn & To Forget by The Huberman Lab

Here’s the episode description - “This episode is all about the two major kinds of dreams and the sorts of learning and unlearning they are used for. I discuss REM-associated dreams that control emotional learning and their similarity to various trauma treatments such as ketamine and EMDR. I also discuss Non-REM dreams and their role in motor learning and learning of detailed, non-emotionally-laden information. I relate this to science-backed tools for accessing more of the types of sleep and learning people may want.”
Andrew Huberman is a professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology at Stanford School of Medicine and his podcast The Huberman Lab is a favourite of mine. This episode in particular helped me structure some ideas I’ve been working on concerning the symbolism of dreams and theconsequences of a lack of sleep.

The Huberman Lab is available to watch on YouTube or listen via Spotify or Apple Podcasts (linked below)

Philosopher I’m Studying - Frederick Nietzsche

The more I meditate and research the themes of struggle and meaning, themore philosophers, stories and myths I come across that directly translate to to these themes. Nietzsche was German philosopher born in 1844 and his ideas, theories and philosophies are so unbelievably profound and universal that they are still discussed and debated about today.

I’m currently reading H.L. Mencken’s “The Philosophy of Friedrich Nietzsche” which you can pick up below.

Song I’m Enjoying Again - Taro by Alt J

There are some songs that hit you differently to all the rest; goosebumps form, emotions rise to the surface, perhaps a smile breaks. Taro is one of those songs for me. That’s all I’ll say.

Listen Below.

Quote to Ponder

You must be the change you wish to see in the world - Mahatma Gandhi

References

1) Alt J Image - Amazon UK